If you had asked me two years ago how I felt about turning 40, I would have sobbed uncontrollably and told you that my life was over and I didn't think I could cope. The thought of leaving my 30's single, coupled with Noah no longer depending on me was more than I could deal with.
Why? Because I had put so much pressure on myself to live up to what society expected of me and failed so miserably that I felt like I would never be what I was meant to be. I needed to have the perfect husband, the house with the white picket fence, the successful career and be the unrealistic supermum who can have it all and still have time to make a fabulous meal for the family at the end of the day. And of course there was a timeline on that fantasy. Hell, by my 40th I should have been at least 10 years into the life that I was expected to lead.
So what happened? Did the world end when I blew out the 40 candle on my birthday cake? Did society shake its head and tell me I had failed? I am still here and if there is any head shaking it is me shaking my head at how ridiculous my thought process has been for so long!
Instead I woke up one day and realised.. I like who I am. In fact I am pretty freakin' awesome!
So what if I am not married? I would rather be on my own than in a dysfunctional relationship or settling for someone that is not right for me to avoid being on my own.
No picket fence? Every time I read an article about interest rates and the housing market I am relieved that it is not something I have to deal with. I live in a fantastic location in a house that I love but know I could never afford to own myself. I have the freedom to pick up the phone and call the owner/landlord when something goes wrong and know it will be fixed without any further out of pocket expense to me.
The dream career? I love my job and I love the people I work with even more. So even on the days when I am stressed and don't think I can do it, I am surrounded by people that remind me that I can. What more can you ask for?
Supermum? Give me a break. It is an urban myth. He is alive, fed, has a roof over his head, happy and mostly well adjusted and certainly won't be on Dr Phil talking about how his mother fucked up his life any day soon. I have done the best I can do.
I am not constantly down on myself about being overweight anymore. Sure it would be fantastic to lose weight but not because I want to fit into what the magazine's tell me I should look like but because it would be better for my health. And if someone wants to judge me for what I look like instead of who I am then they are not worth my time.
I love my humour, I love the fact that I am smart, funny, able to hold a decent conversation and completely and totally myself.
I understand and accept my flaws. I wear my heart on my sleeve and can be a total moody bitch at times. I can be lazy and housework is not how I want to spend my free time. I laugh randomly at things that people around me don't see the humour in. I make inappropriate jokes at inappropriate moments.
I am me.. I am fabulous :)
Why? Because I had put so much pressure on myself to live up to what society expected of me and failed so miserably that I felt like I would never be what I was meant to be. I needed to have the perfect husband, the house with the white picket fence, the successful career and be the unrealistic supermum who can have it all and still have time to make a fabulous meal for the family at the end of the day. And of course there was a timeline on that fantasy. Hell, by my 40th I should have been at least 10 years into the life that I was expected to lead.
So what happened? Did the world end when I blew out the 40 candle on my birthday cake? Did society shake its head and tell me I had failed? I am still here and if there is any head shaking it is me shaking my head at how ridiculous my thought process has been for so long!
Instead I woke up one day and realised.. I like who I am. In fact I am pretty freakin' awesome!
So what if I am not married? I would rather be on my own than in a dysfunctional relationship or settling for someone that is not right for me to avoid being on my own.
No picket fence? Every time I read an article about interest rates and the housing market I am relieved that it is not something I have to deal with. I live in a fantastic location in a house that I love but know I could never afford to own myself. I have the freedom to pick up the phone and call the owner/landlord when something goes wrong and know it will be fixed without any further out of pocket expense to me.
The dream career? I love my job and I love the people I work with even more. So even on the days when I am stressed and don't think I can do it, I am surrounded by people that remind me that I can. What more can you ask for?
Supermum? Give me a break. It is an urban myth. He is alive, fed, has a roof over his head, happy and mostly well adjusted and certainly won't be on Dr Phil talking about how his mother fucked up his life any day soon. I have done the best I can do.
I am not constantly down on myself about being overweight anymore. Sure it would be fantastic to lose weight but not because I want to fit into what the magazine's tell me I should look like but because it would be better for my health. And if someone wants to judge me for what I look like instead of who I am then they are not worth my time.
I love my humour, I love the fact that I am smart, funny, able to hold a decent conversation and completely and totally myself.
I understand and accept my flaws. I wear my heart on my sleeve and can be a total moody bitch at times. I can be lazy and housework is not how I want to spend my free time. I laugh randomly at things that people around me don't see the humour in. I make inappropriate jokes at inappropriate moments.
I am me.. I am fabulous :)
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