What are you afraid of?
Do you have a fear of flying , spiders, men with porn star moustaches? Or do you have deeper more emotional fears such as fear of commitment, or fear of failure?
A few things have happened recently which have really made me question how fearful I am. I have the obvious fears like fear of flying (thank god for Xanax on my recent trip to Adelaide!) , fear of snakes and spiders and pretty much anything that can move and give you a poison filled bite. A fear of heights - step ladders seriously freak me out! Fear of sharks (I blame the incredible movie Jaws!) and mostly clowns and midgets and if it is a midget clown I will be hyperventilating and frozen with fear. Irrational I know but it is what it is.
When I separated from the ex, I went through a phase of trying to overcome these fears. I jumped off a cliff into water (twice!) to overcome my fear of heights, I held a massive python to overcome my fear of snakes and swam in unnetted waters 5kms off Fraser Island to help with my fear of sharks (this was great until I remembered we had seen a manta ray in the water a few minutes before I went in close to where I was now swimming. Needless to say it was a short swim). None of these things really helped. I stillget panicky at step ladders, squeal at snakes and although I have not been swimming in the ocean like that again I somehow doubt that I would jump at the chance.
I call these admittable fears. But what about the phobias you won't admit to but you know are there? I think it is time to add these deniable fears to the list of ones I can admit too.
So here goes....
I don't have a fear of failure but I do have a fear of success. This carries through in alot of areas of my life. In a way it is a fear of getting out of my comfort zone.
The biggest area is in relationships, first dates terrify me. I know I have missed out on some great experiences and possibly great relationships because I was too scared to do anything about it. It is easier and more comfortable to just not do anything and regret it later. Or to go for the unattainable. Talking to someone who lives in a completely different state with no plans of moving makes it less likely that he will ever want to meet for a quick coffee or movie. It will never become anything other than an email relationship. We could always move to second base and talk on the phone but that would be it. Emotionally I am ready to meet someone and have them a part of my quirky little life but that physical first step is currently in the too hard basket.
This is not the kind of fear that I can jump out of a plane or cliff, or swim with sharks, or heaven forbid hire a midget clown to perform at my next birthday party! So how do I overcome it?
They (whoever those wise mouth know it alls "they" are) say that admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery. I think it is part of the 12 step program. So maybe there is a 12 step program for dating phobia? I really should google it.
Will let you know how I go!
Stay safe and stay away from clowns xox
Do you have a fear of flying , spiders, men with porn star moustaches? Or do you have deeper more emotional fears such as fear of commitment, or fear of failure?
A few things have happened recently which have really made me question how fearful I am. I have the obvious fears like fear of flying (thank god for Xanax on my recent trip to Adelaide!) , fear of snakes and spiders and pretty much anything that can move and give you a poison filled bite. A fear of heights - step ladders seriously freak me out! Fear of sharks (I blame the incredible movie Jaws!) and mostly clowns and midgets and if it is a midget clown I will be hyperventilating and frozen with fear. Irrational I know but it is what it is.
When I separated from the ex, I went through a phase of trying to overcome these fears. I jumped off a cliff into water (twice!) to overcome my fear of heights, I held a massive python to overcome my fear of snakes and swam in unnetted waters 5kms off Fraser Island to help with my fear of sharks (this was great until I remembered we had seen a manta ray in the water a few minutes before I went in close to where I was now swimming. Needless to say it was a short swim). None of these things really helped. I stillget panicky at step ladders, squeal at snakes and although I have not been swimming in the ocean like that again I somehow doubt that I would jump at the chance.
I call these admittable fears. But what about the phobias you won't admit to but you know are there? I think it is time to add these deniable fears to the list of ones I can admit too.
So here goes....
I don't have a fear of failure but I do have a fear of success. This carries through in alot of areas of my life. In a way it is a fear of getting out of my comfort zone.
The biggest area is in relationships, first dates terrify me. I know I have missed out on some great experiences and possibly great relationships because I was too scared to do anything about it. It is easier and more comfortable to just not do anything and regret it later. Or to go for the unattainable. Talking to someone who lives in a completely different state with no plans of moving makes it less likely that he will ever want to meet for a quick coffee or movie. It will never become anything other than an email relationship. We could always move to second base and talk on the phone but that would be it. Emotionally I am ready to meet someone and have them a part of my quirky little life but that physical first step is currently in the too hard basket.
This is not the kind of fear that I can jump out of a plane or cliff, or swim with sharks, or heaven forbid hire a midget clown to perform at my next birthday party! So how do I overcome it?
They (whoever those wise mouth know it alls "they" are) say that admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery. I think it is part of the 12 step program. So maybe there is a 12 step program for dating phobia? I really should google it.
Will let you know how I go!
Stay safe and stay away from clowns xox
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