Resulting in my recent "empty nest" depression after Noah has gotten all grown up and gotten himself a girlfriend, I decided to take the plunge and start dating again.
Conundrum - How the hell do you meet people when you are in your late 30's, work full time and rarely go out?
You join dating sites.
I have had an RSVP site for awhile that I have never really used as the only contacts I got were from guys old enough to be my father or young enough to have gone to school with my son, and as I am not prepared to learn lawn bowls or to play X-Box the choices weren't right for me.
I decided to try a few other sites as well so signed up to Oasis Active as well two weeks ago and have actually made a little bit more of an effort to talk to people and even met one of them.
After two weeks of this I have come to the following "top 10 Don'ts" :
1/ If I give you my mobile number it means I want to talk to you not have videos sent to my phone of you wanking. firstly, it doesn't say much for your understanding of what a healthy relationship is about (if I wanted a porn star for a night I would have said so in my profile) and secondly, well, it is just gross! Don't get me wrong, I like penises as much as the next hot blooded straight girl but mystery is a good thing. Added to number 1 - do not ask me to reciprocate and show you mine- it ain't ever happening buddy!
2/ If you base your opinion on me solely on my photo you are being sadly misled. I photograph well. Professing your love for me from one pic and not reading my profile just makes you sad and desparate. My eyes are not telling you that I am your soul mate they are trying to figure out when the flash is going to go off. Also, don't beg me to talk to you it just makes you look like a stalker.
3/ If you have kids, don't start the conversation by telling me they live with the bitch and proceed to tell me how she left you blah blah blah. If you keep complaining you are just making it more obvious why she left you in the first place.
4/ I am overweight and honest about it in my profile, if you are looking for a supermodel keep moving.
5/ If we are chatting and you keep disappearing I am going to presume that you are talking to a bunch of people. I onlt speak to one person at a time. Give me the same courtesy.
6/ If by chance,we hit it off and decide to go on a date remember I am the same person you have been talking to online. You have seen my photos, you know some of my quirks, you know I am not a supermodel so don't automatically judge me and make me feel like crap. It is hard enough meeting people in the first place without the instant look of disappointment on your face.
7/ I am happy to go dutch on a date but if you are making me feel guilty about the cost of the meal and have been complaining about money on the whole date, don't expect me to pay for both of us. The restaurant was your idea. I thought we were going for a coffee!
8/ Don't then hint that maybe we can have a casual relationship even though you didn't have any chemistry with me. If I wanted just a bonk I would have taken the wanker up on his offer.
9/ Don't email me the next day to tell me how disappointed you were after meeting me. Chances are your behaviour during the date showed me that anyway. I don't need my ego crushed again and quite frankly after paying for your dinner I am pretty relieved not to see you again anyway.
10/ I don't judge on instant physical attraction and I am looking for someone who is the same. Get to know people and they become more attractive. Some of the most physically beautiful people I have met have also been the ugliest.
Ok, rant finished. I am still on the sites but pretty much over it already. I don't understand how people can do this for years!
Conundrum - How the hell do you meet people when you are in your late 30's, work full time and rarely go out?
You join dating sites.
I have had an RSVP site for awhile that I have never really used as the only contacts I got were from guys old enough to be my father or young enough to have gone to school with my son, and as I am not prepared to learn lawn bowls or to play X-Box the choices weren't right for me.
I decided to try a few other sites as well so signed up to Oasis Active as well two weeks ago and have actually made a little bit more of an effort to talk to people and even met one of them.
After two weeks of this I have come to the following "top 10 Don'ts" :
1/ If I give you my mobile number it means I want to talk to you not have videos sent to my phone of you wanking. firstly, it doesn't say much for your understanding of what a healthy relationship is about (if I wanted a porn star for a night I would have said so in my profile) and secondly, well, it is just gross! Don't get me wrong, I like penises as much as the next hot blooded straight girl but mystery is a good thing. Added to number 1 - do not ask me to reciprocate and show you mine- it ain't ever happening buddy!
2/ If you base your opinion on me solely on my photo you are being sadly misled. I photograph well. Professing your love for me from one pic and not reading my profile just makes you sad and desparate. My eyes are not telling you that I am your soul mate they are trying to figure out when the flash is going to go off. Also, don't beg me to talk to you it just makes you look like a stalker.
3/ If you have kids, don't start the conversation by telling me they live with the bitch and proceed to tell me how she left you blah blah blah. If you keep complaining you are just making it more obvious why she left you in the first place.
4/ I am overweight and honest about it in my profile, if you are looking for a supermodel keep moving.
5/ If we are chatting and you keep disappearing I am going to presume that you are talking to a bunch of people. I onlt speak to one person at a time. Give me the same courtesy.
6/ If by chance,we hit it off and decide to go on a date remember I am the same person you have been talking to online. You have seen my photos, you know some of my quirks, you know I am not a supermodel so don't automatically judge me and make me feel like crap. It is hard enough meeting people in the first place without the instant look of disappointment on your face.
7/ I am happy to go dutch on a date but if you are making me feel guilty about the cost of the meal and have been complaining about money on the whole date, don't expect me to pay for both of us. The restaurant was your idea. I thought we were going for a coffee!
8/ Don't then hint that maybe we can have a casual relationship even though you didn't have any chemistry with me. If I wanted just a bonk I would have taken the wanker up on his offer.
9/ Don't email me the next day to tell me how disappointed you were after meeting me. Chances are your behaviour during the date showed me that anyway. I don't need my ego crushed again and quite frankly after paying for your dinner I am pretty relieved not to see you again anyway.
10/ I don't judge on instant physical attraction and I am looking for someone who is the same. Get to know people and they become more attractive. Some of the most physically beautiful people I have met have also been the ugliest.
Ok, rant finished. I am still on the sites but pretty much over it already. I don't understand how people can do this for years!
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